I've divided myself into a hundred different pieces, 100 cities and a hundred different beds with dreams connected by dots on a withered map.
I'm here with you now, I promise.
But I can't promise how long it will be for.
I know this doesn't help but I want you to know that I still think about you on the nights when the drives are long and I get lost between the miles.
Time is an hour glass, ticking away.
And I guess you'll never know how badly I wish I could stay. Here with you. But trust my words because they're all I've got left. And I promise you that I'll the not to suffocate this like I always do, maybe I'll even pretend not to care. Because after all we've been through, you'd be crazy to think that I won't be there.
Remember how we were crazy about each other? That energy seeped out of our eyes and our bodies, a kind of vibrant innocence that we learned to love and grew to lack. I started to fade when those colors started to fade.
It's funny to think about how much of a contradiction I've become. Like is give all I have to forget about you but without you I'd have nothing to give. It's a vicious circle that's had it's tides around my neck for as long as I can remember. Now just to kick the chair out from under us and end something that should've never started.
I'm coming home to a new world, with the same towns with our fingerprints laced all over them, places we called our own. I'm such a sucker for my early youth, and I know you are too.
I remember writing things like this wen I was younger and had nothing else to write about and now I rarely find the time to trace the lines and when it gets colder, my soul grows older and older and older till I think I'm wise beyond my years but really I'm a product of all the fears you've instilled in me.
Let's take a walk together. Don't worry, you won't remember this when you wake up. This could only exist in my dreams.
Man I moved I mountains for you, carried your baggage as if it were my own but the valleys grew deeper and the rivers ran dry, an emotional drought not countered by any sudden rainfall. These desolate lands built their own walls, nothing I had any control over. Instinct kicked in when I laid my boundaries. Because all it ever was was survival of the fittest and I am so out of shape. I was out of shape before contortion meant anything to me.